When you’re young, everything is the end of the world. No matter if it’s school, work, relationships, personal struggles, life always seems to screw you over. Sure, you’ll be fine the next day. Well hopefully you will be, but the next day is no more of a guarantee. Part of this battle is brought on because of our societies pressure on all of us. We have to have a billion dollars in order to be something. We have to go to college in order to be academically correct in all aspects. If we don’t have a degree, we will not get the job even if we are the smartest person for the career. We have to pay thousands of dollars in order to have this education and those who really need it might not ever get the opportunity.
I’ve just gotten to the point where living in this world, as it is today just isn’t for me. I’ve been lucky in the sense that I have had everything I needed and more when it comes to the multitude of aspects in my life. I’ve always felt love, support, friendship and have been pushed myself to be the best person anyone has ever seen. Of course, there have been road blocks along the way. I’m in one right now.
When someone asks you “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Some of us know and have known for forever. Some of us have no clue. I was one of those kids who always knew. But always knowing has turned into lots of doubt. Lots of indecisive, uncontrollable doubt.I can’t begin to explain to you the interruption of destiny that my mind has conjured up. Notice I still included destiny in that statement, because we ALL have a destiny even when you don’t know exactly where and when you will reach it. This interruption I’ve had for so long is trying to figure out where to be. That’s the big question for most nineteen year olds I guess. “Where the hell am I supposed to fit in this place we live in?” “Is what I wanted to be when I grew up really what I’ll be?” It’s human nature to care about what people think about us. We don’t want to let someone down and we take responsibility for others way too easily. I say this because I always worry. What if my decisions make someone upset? What if they aren’t my friend anymore? Those kinds of things. But you know what? Screw it. This life thing is hard enough to care about what any one person has to say about you. And you know what? If they were your friend, they wouldn’t have a care in the world as long as your happy. I say all this for the bigger picture of my ”half asleep while typing this” rant. You don’t owe anyone anything. Your decisions are solely yours as mine are mine. That being said, don’t waste your life thinking it away like I do. Make decisions in the moment and don’t sit on the fence. Because you can be like me, sitting at home trying to make up my mind and not being able to because I’m overthinking every possible outcome of what my life is going to be like. Hopefully I can read over this and it will help me decide. But for now, enjoy Being young. Enjoy the struggle and laugh it off when you can. We all have to go through this life at some point and we will get through it. One crossroad at a time.
In Technicolor, Pt. II
Chasing the Sun
I always say the wrong thing.